Upper
Intermediate
Dogs?
What makes a good pet? Dogs are
loyal but hard work. Every time you go anywhere you need to
think, ‘what about Rover? If he isn’t happy,
he’ll tell you in a very loud voice.
Like small children, dogs expect you to clean up the mess
they make. In return they’ll let you share
their fleas. And scratch your
furniture. And jump on you with wet dirty paws. And lick
your face. Thanks Rover.
Cats?
Cat lovers think their animals
are perfect pets. ‘They’re clean and
quiet,’ they say. ‘They look after
themselves.’ But have you ever seen a cat empty
a litter tray? Or sing in tune?
The average cat is like a teenager. He sleeps half the day.
He doesn’t pay for his food. The only exercise he
gets is walking from the sofa to the food bowl
And don’t expect much loyalty from your furry
‘friend’. If Tiddles finds better food, Tiddles
moves house.
Hamsters?
To a dog you’re
the master. To a cat you’re
staff. Cats think a half-dead mouse is a good present.
And they don’t mind giving you fleas either.
There are other pets, of course. Hamsters are fine - for
kids. A pet you can put in your pocket? That doesn’t
seem very adult. Nor does a floppy-eared rabbit.
And small creatures need the security arrangements of an
American president. One false move and they’re
another beast’s breakfast.
