The Perfect
Pet?
Upper Intermediate
by
Kieran McGovern
Before you
read:
Man's Best Friend?
What makes a good pet? Dogs
are loyal but hard work. Every time you go anywhere you
need to think, ‘what about Rover? If he isn’t
happy, he’ll tell you in a very loud voice.
Like small children, dogs expect you to clean up the mess
they make. In return they’ll let you share
their fleas. And scratch your
furniture. And jump on you with wet dirty paws. And
lick your face. Thanks Rover.
Cats
Cat lovers think their
animals are perfect pets. ‘They’re clean and
quiet,’ they say. ‘They look after
themselves.’ But have you ever seen a cat empty
a litter tray? Or sing in tune?
The average cat is like a teenager. He sleeps half the
day. He doesn’t pay for his food. The only exercise
he gets is walking from the sofa to the food bowl
And don’t expect much loyalty from your furry
‘friend’. If Tiddles finds better food,
Tiddles moves house.
Problems
To a dog you’re
the master. To a cat you’re
staff. Cats think a half-dead mouse is a good present.
And they don’t mind giving you fleas either.
There are other pets, of course. Hamsters are fine - for
kids. A pet you can put in your pocket? That
doesn’t seem very adult. Nor does a floppy-eared
rabbit. And small creatures need the security
arrangements of an American president. One false move and
they’re another beast’s breakfast.
