Free graded reading materials for English language learners : Upper Intermediate

Stupid Parrot?

Talking birds can be dangerously annoying


A repairman once went to house to repair a dishwasher. The owner was out at work but she left instructions about her pets: a bull dog called Spike and a parrot.

‘Don’t worry about Spike,’ she wrote in a note she left with the house key. ‘He won’t bother you. But it’s
extremely important that you don’t talk to my parrot. Don’t say a word to him.’

The repairman went into the house. In the kitchen was an enormous, scary looking bulldog. But, as the owner had promised, Spike lay quietly on the carpet.

You're Stupid!

The parrot, though, spent the whole morning annoying the workman. ‘You’re very ugly!’ he repeatedly squawked in his ear. ‘And very stupid!’

Finally the repairman could take no more. ‘No,
you’re very ugly,’ he shouted at the parrot. ‘And you’re very stupid!’

The parrot looked down at the dog. ‘Get him, Spike!’

Who would want such a bird? A man called David, for one. He went to an auction and bid for a parrot. To his surprise the bids went higher and higher. Eventually David won the bird.


'I hope this parrot can talk,’ he said to the auctioneer I’ve paid a lot of money for him!'

'Don't worry.' said the auctioneer, 'He can talk. Who do you think was bidding against you?'